Couple of Tiger Jokes

What's the difference between a golf ball and a Cadillac Escalade? Tiger can drive a golf ball more than 300 yards.

What did Tiger and wife Elin do on Thanksgiving night? They went clubbing.

This is about what you can expect for quite some time.

Again, if Tiger had just come out and attacked these issues head on early on, it would have been much better. The "story" has taken off and snowballed into something MUCH bigger than it had to be. Golf.com printed a good story about Tiger. Here are a few excerpts:

The wave crested when he refused to be interviewed by the Florida Highway Patrol. That made him look like he had something to hide or, even worse, like he thought he was above the law. Then he announced he wouldn't play in his own tournament, the Chevron World Challenge, an off-season event that supports the charitable works of the Tiger Woods Foundation, or even show up to serve as host and glad-hand. In a release, he claimed he was under a doctor's orders not to travel. Let's see, he could win a U.S. Open at Torrey Pines with multiple microfractures in his leg but couldn't fly in a comfy private jet to California because of a cut lip and some bruises?

On Wednesday, Woods issued a statement apologizing for his "transgressions," but he didn't get into specifics. After saying he had let his family down, he went on to criticize the tabloid press for invading his privacy and printing erroneous rumors. (He never supplied the police, the public or the media with any facts to avoid all the speculation.) Yes, being the most famous person on the planet can be a terrible burden, but in his apology he sounded more sorry for getting caught than for his actions. Maybe that's harsh. Maybe that's unfair. But that's the way the public is going to view this.

Perception rules over facts in the court of public opinion, and this verdict is going to go against Tiger, no matter what is ultimately revealed. Forget those seven wins he had on the golf course this year. What we're going to remember about Tiger's 2009 is a crashed Cadillac, a $164 citation for careless driving and a betrayed wife.

Tiger's image will never be the same. Neither will his life. All we really know for sure is, this was all his fault.

Additionally, USA Today's Christine Brennan, a well respected sports journalist for years, said the golfer's apology falls short. "The first paragraph is an apology," Brennan said on CNN's Larry King Live. "The second two paragraphs, he attacks everybody else, when of course, this is a self-induced scandal."

Again, Tiger doesn't have to tell us anything. Again, in a perfect world he would be able to deal with this the way an average joe would deal with it and that is in the privacy of his own home. The problem is that he is TIGER FREAKING WOODS -- arguably the most recognizable athlete in the world. The reality is that the general public feels owed and entitled an explanation and an answer. Holing up and hiding doesn't help. If he had come out early on, he could have appeared more human and less of an icon and even garnered some sympathy. It is MUCH worse now.

Good luck, Eldrick!